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I knew what to advise you. Unfortunately, I haven't been on your side of the issue, I've only been on your SO's side so I'd have a few choice words for him about how those little lies can desensitize one into telling bigger lies, and how those become a terrible habit. And how much EASIER, trust, respect, and life in general can be if you're just completely HONEST about everything, ALL the time. When you're doing something you're not supposed to, or something you're not particularly proud of, it's HARD (for a practiced liar) to admit the truth. It's very hard, when lying seems sooooo much easier. But he's not thinking of the consequences! It took years, but I learned it is much, much easier to 'fess up right when it happens and endure the slight pain of getting through that, than to deal with the fallout of a lie after the fact. That hurts far worse. It's easier to repair a lapse of judgement than to repair damage due to lies. But for you I can only advise that you perhaps give him the benefit of doubt this time, since it's the first lie you're aware of. You were angry and upset when you posted earlier, hopefully after breakfast with him you'll have calmed down and gained some perspective. I'd be very curious to hear how he explains himself and if he's remorseful. I would NOT go so far as monitoring his cell phone or e-mail, or snooping in any form. You have far more class than that good for you! But I'd be clear with him that it's NOT whatever he was doing which has you upset that can be worked through for the most part but rather the LIE which is your dealbreaker. I'm wondering if it's possible he's become somewhat lax in your relationship, since you are so trusting of him. Perhaps he needed to know you actually DO have boundaries of trust, and where that limit is reached. Well, he just found it. Now what is he going to do about it? Good luck, you two can work through this, if it's a relationship worth saving. Liars CAN reform, if they want to. ~ insidescoop Wife want real sex NY Great neck 11021

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