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Hi.... My name is Ralphina and I'm looking for a woman with a nice wardrobe.... I'm not gay or anything but I just love to play dressup.. I like to go out to nice fancy resteraunts.... like that pancake house on powell near the bridge, I just love that place even though once they spit in my food.... while I was standing there watching them make it..... It was still good. Doug said I deserved it for being such a silly faggot... Well that isn't exactly what he said but oh well.. Sometimes I need to alter what he says a little for company. But Dougs alright... I love love Doug, you will too he's great...
Anyways.. I would love a partner that can handle some of my.... uh.... eccentricities. Yea... those.. Anyways... So I like to play dressup alot and would love a partner that's ok with letting me borrow things now and then. I promise I won't get chocolate sauce on your cloths... That's only for clown time I swear. I know how angry people can get when their things get ruined.. But sometimes Doug gets angry and it's the only way to make him laugh. He gets so angry sometimes and keeps yelling at me to do things like shit in the salad bar or go masturbate in traffic and try to hit a moving car.... But that's just Doug... I do the chocolate sauce thing and he laughs and it's all great fun and nobody gets hurt but that's just Doug... Doug'g great you'll love Doug.. And you don't have to hear or see him anyways because of the government chip in my head allows me to see him. He was in a government experiment involving quicksilver and now only I can see or hear him... He gets angry but the chocolate sauce thing makes it he laughs and stops yelling and then we can get back to sleep..... sleep is gooooood.
Anyways..... So I'm looking for a woman with a nice wardrobe that wouldn't mind me playing dressup and doesn't mind that I'm not taking the pills that the doctor said would make Doug go away... I tried it once and apparently the chip doesn't show up in an xray so it's invisible too... But I missed Doug and I wanted him back so I threw them away cus then Doug wouldn't have anyone at all that can see him. Ever since Doug was shot years ago and got a bad case of the maggots they took him away and that's when Doug became invisible but he's still around. No bullet or maggots can make my friend Doug go away no sir-ee. Dougs great... you'll love Doug... Dougs the bestest....
But anways... I love cuddling, long walks. Except in high heels then long walks suck... But anyways.. I would love to maybe meet you for coffee somewhere... I'll see if I can ditch Doug so we can talk without being interrupted. I would love just once to be able to eat pancakes without having to put my face down in the syrup just to make him laugh.... Do you like pancakes? I love pancakes.... They're not so good with chocolate sauce.... They won't let me bring it in the restraunt anymore anyways....
Anyways.... So lets go out sometime... I'd love to meet a nice woman.... Yer sir-ee I would...
-----Or maybe I'm just a weird writer trying to find interesting people to talk to so I can get over a bad case of writers block... If I made you laugh then lets talk... I tend to be on yaaahhhoooo as wunnabeapirate ... I may or may not get the message though cus my is a little screwy so pop me an email if I don't reply... Or even if I do... That way I can make sure not to loose the name when I get home from work.
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