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submit to reddit ready to really commit to each other, but kind of wanting to try the "settled down" thing for a while. don't live together. Neither of you actually trusts the other. This "I need to your texts/s" bullshit is proof of that. You're not going to force trust, either it's there and you know it, or you're trying to fake it or force it. It doesn't work. The right person not have to prove anything to you, and vice versa. You'll know they're not jerking you around, and they'll know you're not. You're trying to force this relationship into the shape you want it to fit, I think. If you don't respect him enough to leave his phone alone, and he doesn't respect your privacy, either, why bother? Do you think it proves, or something? What it proves is immaturity and insecurity. The "jealous female" routine is not going to have any kind of positive effect on any relationship, and neither is the "jealous guy" thing. Unless you thrive on the drama, and some people really, really that crap. You know what's nice in a relationship, that you can actually do? Speak. Calmly and face to face and then to MEAN it when you say "If you aren't really ready for a relationship with just one person (me), please don't pretend you are. I won't curl up and die without you. I'll be bummed out/sad/whatever for a while, but I'd rather that than be jerked around or have games played. That's not for me. So there's the door, if you ever think this isn't the right relationship for you. But if you're in, be IN. don't be a jerk. And I won't either." The phone snooping makes you look pathetic and desperate. Actually the two of you don't sound like really good ltr stuff. But who knows. I've never done the jealous female routine with any if it's time to go, I go, and if it's time for them to go, out they go. I don't stand for much crap, really.

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