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He is the I and the one I decided to give myself to for the rest of our days and raise a family with Yes, he did cheat on me and deceive me multiple times in our relationship. But every time he is caught doing something deceiving of course he jumps on the guilt train! I keep hearing how much he loves me, he can't live without me, he can't imagine life without being with me, he swears to never do it again, he swears that he has some kinda sex addiction disorder and he isn't So me being as pathetic as I am I feed into it. I really feel bad about it and start to think maybe he really does me and has a disorder, if i leave then I am gonna cost my the family they once had, you know how much they their daddy so they hate you for doing this, then I think back to when he became very crazy he became really violent and would beat the crap outta me and I was finally forced to press charges on him which turned out to be not so bad because then he stopped putting his hands on me. Then when we separated the last time for a couple of months he went crazy with stalking me, and ing me non-stop then he ended up trying to kill himself by totaling his truck head on into a tree, and one time before we had separated and had he tried to OD because he was mad at me. Finally he was committed and got help for all of his issues and thankfully he no longer acts that way. Aside from all the cheating and screwing around behind my back, he's actually a really great person and husband. This is where the issues lie. But my point is, all the times we have separated it has been because I decided to separate and every time I would do this it would cause him to go into a complete and total crazed mode! I don't want him to do that again and because like I told him, no matter how much he hurts me by his actions and sometimes even feelings, I still never want to cause him pain in return I him, and I don't want to him suffer or in pain just because he caused me hurt or pain.

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