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you mention in your post that you have "had 3 partners before him; all unsuccessful lovers." it sounds like you're not taking ownership for your feelings. can you make yourself come? what does it for you? if you haven't, it be worth it to check out your neighborhood sexpositive store (babeland, good vibes, i don't know what is in chicago) for books and/or workshops. once you know what you like, it's really important to let your partner know. especially since relationships are supposed to be based around trust, the longer you wait, the harder it's going to get. finally, it isn't about theorgasm! it's about a really special way to feel as completely close to the person you as possible. my partner and i often make where only one of us climaxes, and occasionally neither of us do. because it's about the journey, not the destination. i wasn't able to orgasm during sex until after i figured that out and gave myself permission to have fun making without the pressure of trying to come to please my partner. good luck!

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