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Latashia
23
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Single

At least you acknowledge the role you played in all this. OTOH, your ex DH sounds passive , or maybe he had some sort of cuckold fetish. He was aware that you were chatting with this for about a year, and he was also aware when things accelerated into a cyber-affair. If he would have posted about it then, I would have recommended marriage counseling. I would've asked him about communication, and how he felt about what was going on. Why would he stay? Why didn't he speak up? It seems to me that if he was quietly seething inside, then his reaction of playfully teasing you about it, as if this was some sort of game the two of you were playing, was disingenuous. He then resorted to having an affair irl, which confirms a huge disconnect between the two of you. And he was at least partially responsible for this. I think you need to stop beating yourself up now. Yes, if your marriage wasn't polyamorous, you crossed the line. It's almost as if you were putting your marriage on the line, daring him to fight for it. I'm not sure what your motives were, but what does it matter now? In the future, I would as a red any lack of connection or communication with potential interests. And if a relationship does not meet your needs, just end it before proceeding to another. Tweet
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Lucille
59
Healdsburg
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Single

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Chauncey
42
Cle Elum
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