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clearly we aren't getting the whole story. Wife isn't functionally or ideologiy opposed to counseling (as evidenced by her already attending on her Divorced couple searching casual sex sex cam own) but YOU seem disinclined to go without her? What's that about? Lots of people in couples therapy are also in therapy alone. It is almost always the case that the relationship struggles are an outcropping of whatever struggles each person individually brings to the marriage. If she's firm in her position, and supported by her therapist (who are TRAINED NOT TO BE PARTISAN) she's unlikely to budge on this. The question becomes, why should she? Why are you resistant to individual therapy? What are you afraid to face on your own? How going to counseling alone, as a precursor to couples counseling, threaten you so deeply that you refuse? Are you afraid to acknowledge your own struggles? Do you believe couples therapy allow you to foist your pain or anger onto your wife? JUST GO You want to save your marriage? Humor her. It cannot do anything but help. Her request isn't unreasonable, and your resistance points in the direction of a strange intransigence that doesn't bode well for the relationship at large. Make a short-term agreement; attend for a month and how that feels. After you've done so then you have the standing to make your request for joint therapy again. Demonstrate your willingness to do whatever is necessary to heal yourself and the relationship too. 
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