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I started dating a a few months ago. There have already been some red flags, though. I'll start with the good points about him, then list out the concerns/ flags, and hopefully you all can help me in how I should proceed . So, he's very sweet, very attentive. We have a LOT in common, intellectually, hobby-wise, we have similar tastes on a lot of levels and generally get along very well. Our chemistry is also quite good, I find him attractive, and so on. Within the 1st month or so we talked a bit about our past relationships. I saw it as something of a red that he's only been in one other relationship, which lasted 6 years. He claims this woman was bi-polar, often violent towards him, had rage issues and was generally abusive. Again, this is the only relationship he's ever known. Red #1: He's already said "I you." This me a little, and feeling a bit pressed, I said it back even though in my heart, I wasn't sure I was there yet. I felt like I was *falling* for him, but wasn't % sure I was all the way there. And, to make matters worse, for the last month or so he's been saying it ALL the time; most, if not all, texts he sends me throughout the day include "I you." This worries me for reasons related to the red flags below . He told me early on, also, that he has some self esteem issues that he's been trying to work on. And, in sync with what he told me, I have noticed (even prior to that convo) that he does sort of require a lot of adjulation. And his sense of humor can often be somewhat distastefully self-deprecating (like he's reaching for me to say, "Oh, no, you're not like X", etc.). Further (and I acknowledge that this next 'red -' might have raised due to some of my own insecurities, from a past abusive relationship, that I've been working on with a therapist), he has a lot a LOT of female friends. His sense of boundaries with these women isn't very good; he's very touchy-feely with them and flirts with them openly (making them feel good apparently makes him feel good this relates back to his self esteem issues, maybe?), and talking to them on the phone quite a lot. To the point that he's cut our convos short to give one of them a. (Continued with apologies for length!) for DV or his wife is alledging and his lawyer agrees that he needs anger management class. And, MOST women DO NOT play that card. (I am fully aware that some sexy senior want sex do.) Did you know that October is Domestic Violence Awareness month? You should do so research, DV doesn't only impact the, it impacts the in those families where occurs. Tweet
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