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7 years here. Same basic issues, but in our case we got to talking, then did therapy for awhile, then realized we've both changed as people and what we want in life. We ended up deciding to go our separate ways. This might not be particularly helpful, but in our case the lack of sex was because she has never in her life really cared for it. In her mind it's just a chore that's useful for catching and keeping a guy. Turns out she had the same pattern with all her previous relationships too. Unfortunately she refused to continue going to therapy before we got to the real root cause, which tells me there's more that she wouldn't say. My best advice is to break down the walls in a serious way and talk. Talk about things that make you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. Talk about things that you feel are taboos. don't criticize or accuse you can't communicate openly if either of you become defensive. If you can't do it on your own or if you can't get her to speak plainly, counseling / therapy can help get honest discussions started.

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Please, in any reply, find a unique way to let me know you are an actual person local to Columbia. Ive been around here for years so there is probably not much I wouldnt recognize about our dear old city.